Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Today.. as every day in my life, I used my time to think.. to analyze and to study everything that had happen, everything that is in my life.
For every revolution there should be a dance, for every change a prayer, for step a thanks.. because everything that had happen must have a reason, a why, an answer. Lets look deep into it, let's try to find out what everything means, why do I feel this way, why did it go this way.. your boredom and my pain, we both are the same, looking for a change, for excitement, but its not just that, its deeper than our human reality, its so deep that it seems like Destiny played a card or a trick on us... is just like if we roll the dice, and this is what we got..

Life can be sweet for many of us yet  bitter for other.. The sweet taste of knowing that you have someone for you, for each moment, the tranquil though that behind everything there is a designer, a creator, someone that protects you.. the bitter taste of dependance, of need and attachment, how pain full it is to be human, to want things, people, loved ones, the cruelty of understanding that you can't have them and the Childish but conscious suffering that is left at the end, that taste, that strong fragrance...

suddenly I saw everything so clearly, the fears that are in my mind.. the fear of loosing the only  one thing I have, every second I yearn to attain Her presence and to look at her eyes, but is just a fear, a childish fear, a conscious though that I ignore because I want to believe it.. but I know... I have nothing and am nothing, the cruelty and bitterness of knowing that tomorrow will be the same, that is everything a lie, a lie that i have to live.. a Lie that will never leave my heart and my mind that is so human.. There is no hope nor faith that there will come a Day. There is just the strong desire and hope that tomorrow will be different..

So after all there must be a reason, a reason why. I have to realize this now, at such a young age, or understanding.. there must be a reason  why I feel this way,  why it happens this way.. and still, what ever the reason is.. at the end is nothing  more than that..

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